As a long term sufferer of Social Anxiety, I feel like writing about it will hopefully increase my healing and others...
Suffering from social anxiety is possibly the worst feeling I have ever come across in my life, it leaves me in panic attacks, severe nightmares and a decreasing in self confidence all the time. It is one of the main reasons why I wanted to start a blog as it will help me become more myself throughout my blogs and when it comes to dealing with reality. I started this suffering when I was about 1, so in year 8, and I started to experiment with make-up, and I realised there was alot of things I disliked about myself. These thoughts stayed with me for a long time, and I was very enclosed with myself and cut off others around me.
I can be very distant towards my friends and family, which causes alot of worry and concern sometimes. I haven't really started talking about how I feel to anybody, until I started to have regular meetings with a chaplin called Joey who has helped me so much and I owe alot to him, he has been there for me since the first time I had a meeting with him and although I still have anexiety, I am improving because of him, and have found that I am a happier person. So I guess that shows that telling someone is the best thing you can do, don't suffer in silence, support is the best medicing for social anexiety.
When dealing with the things I don't like about myself, I get very paranoid when out in the city or with my friends, who are all so confident and at ease with themselves, that it made me very panicky and I would suffer panic attacks, these aren't so frequent with me anymore as I have learnt to relax alot more, and I do not put myself in any uncomfortable positions. Although I do get alot of nightmares still,which entale me being alone in a crowd, or pure blackness, people I know saying horrid things to me are somethings my brain just doesn't let me forget and I have found myself asking these people if thats what they think of me even though it was just a dream it carried out into my real life.
I have also had a hard time during my roles in performing arts as I do acting, singing and dance to improve my confidence and make me feel more stable, I would not participate in any activity that would make me feel uncomfortable about how I looked, me and my body do not get on, I have done some awful things to my body, which I regret but somehow am still not happy with these things. This is actually the hardest thing I've ever had to write so I hope this is making some sense.
My main hope for this post is to encourage other sufferes of social anexiety, that it does get better. It does improve. You do not need to change. Always remember to stay positive, each and every one of you are amazing and special in your own way, never let society label you, I have put myself through this, and am now fighting against it. Just remember that you have people in your life that love you, care about you, and want whats best for you. Even though it doesn't always seem that there are. Remember that the world is not your enemy, you can shine, and don't let SA bring you down. It does not have to be this way. I promise you it will all get better in time, and I am happy to talk to anybody for advise or questions.
Ways I deal with SA:
1. TALKING TO SOMEONE- it helps more than you think
2. FIND A HAPPY PLACE- whether that be a place in your home,outside, a song,movie it can all help.
3. HELP OTHERS- help others to help yourself, the same with encourage, I helped one special special friend (IZZY) with her SA and I realised that I could use the advice to encourage her, to encourage me.
THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR READING. YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL!
